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12 Ways To Achieve A Happy And Successful Marriages

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How do you create a happy and successful marriage? Have you had, or are you having marital problems? Can you count them? Or are there too many?

One, two, three, five or ten. Do you recall how you dealt with them?

Well, there’s more than one way to skin a cat, right?

Do you worry that you wish you hadn’t gotten married? Do you feel resentment toward the person you married? Do you regret the vows you undertook to be with each other forever?

Problems in any relationship are normal. Worrying about them isn’t going to help – dealing with them in the right way, will.

Remember that in life, there are problems that we need to resolve every day. And when it comes to relationships, we need to use tact and subtlety.

So it is with a marriage. You need to discover ways to manage discord in your relationship. And to maintain the love and respect in your home for years to come.

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So let’s take a look at some important points.

What is Marriage?

How did you end up with the overwhelming “tie-the-knot” feeling?

Of course, after the sweetest courtship, you planned it.

The public union of two intimate souls committed to taking care of each other through thick or thin. You’re bound by love as one. Nothing should undo the growing together of two vines, no matter how tangled they get.

Expectations in Married Life…

Now you fathom the significance of your marriage. You start to understand how to deal with each other’s weaknesses to achieve happy and successful marriage. Remember, there is no perfect relationship, nor a perfect union. Happy matrimony must be free from any expectations other than love.

How To Manage Your Relationship

There is no definite formula for a happy and successful marriage. But there are options to consider that could be applied to both of you. So, what could be the best choices a couple should put in place in their marriage?

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  • Treat your relationship like a “bank account,” (according to the artofmanliness.com).

Yes, you read it right. But you might ask, How is this possible? Let’s talk about this. This is not about a literal connotation of cash money. When I say, a “bank account” it is more about having positive, selfless interactions. Giving rather than receiving.

Investing in your future to reap the rewards later in life. If you don’t save and only spend, (instant, selfish gratification). Then your account will be empty at a time in the future when you most need to rely on it. Withdrawals are taking from your partner. Taking advantage, taking for granted, expecting them to do for you without you giving to them.

  • To reverse the side effects of arguments, a “repair attempt” is a requisite. Where the couple uses positive gestures – a smile, a laugh, or an apology with a hug. This breaks the tension and stops the feelings of love from disintegrating.
  • Acceptance is the best language of love in your married life. This is where humility and respect have to be the greatest factor to intervene in a heated argument.
  • Learn how to listen to your spouse’s viewpoints. Listening is not an admission of inferiority. And don’t wait for your turn to speak; listen to your partner’s concerns. Try to have empathy and see their perspective – it may change your own.
  • Communication is one of the most crucial factors in any relationship. Remember that you are no longer alone – you are a partnership; everything has to put a decision, together. How you communicate is key; Finding common ground through sacrifice, compromise, and concession.
  • Spending more time together. Plan for a date night. Never take one another for granted. You must always find time for an “alone” moment, a romantic date, a picnic or watch a movie. The two of you is enough. Try to rekindle the essence of how you both fell in love in the first place.
  • To have regular sex (both of you need to agree when is the best time to do it).
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Lifetime Commitment

Now you have the best options on how to keep your marriage happy and successful. It’s now your ultimate goal to be together for a lifetime, right? How will you keep it stronger like the Llangernyw tree (oldest tree in North Wales)? These too can support your lifetime commitment. For a happy and successful marriage goal.

  • Never thought of selfishness.
  • You support each other’s aspirations. Never allow any controlling behavior as narcissists do.
  • Trust each other. – It’s the most important factor in communication.
  • Be honest at all costs. Never hide anything from each especially about money.
  • Be patient and forgiving. You have the union of matrimony, so do your best to grow it with love, respect, and forgiveness.

Every couple engages in a battle of wills. Neither I nor you have an easy way to handle marital issues. It takes a lot of courage to build a happy and successful marriage along with your difficult stages.

Yet, you should not forget the sanctity of your vows. You’re given the privilege to enjoy and commit to the sacrament of matrimony. After all, it was your own choice to be with the person you love and to live with forever.

Chaos in relationships will then pacified and managed through the language of love.
Never tire of giving your trust and forgiveness. This is how your happy and successful marriage starts. Hence, grow old together and “go into the world and multiply.” and managed through the language of love.

Never tire of giving your trust and forgiveness. This is how your happy and successful marriage starts. Hence, grow old together and “go into the world and multiply.”

SOURCES: https://www.marriage.com/

https://www.becomingminimalist.com

https://www.artofmanliness.com/

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REFLECTIONS From Corona Virus CONFESSIONS OF AN INTUITIVE SOUL By: EqualBeam(EDB)

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Reflecting back those moments when you were not yet introduced to the planet, I was too calm and optimistic about fighting life’s struggles. I have lots of dreams to make, enormous battles to conquer and unlimited wisdom to reckon. My rationality had been too strong yet too vulnerable inside. Though fighting away those struggles sometimes keep me knelt-down and frail, I have to keep my worn-out energy-burning and be hopeful, that these trying times will soon vanish away and carried out by the winds and be just a part of the history. Now I confess, that before I was never bothered myself thinking about being defeated by these setbacks, “ No mess could falter me from rising up from any hitch.” I always fight and rise up. But this time it seems my strength is ridged, with lots of reasons. I never imagined that those reasons were unconsciously stockpiled in my subconscious, and it’s haunting me now! My tranquil state was turned 180 degrees upside down.  My then placid mind is panicking! My heart, even reverberates as extremely now!  

        While my heart is hammering with rage, fear, loneliness, thankfulness  (that somehow this COVID-19 has not infected yet any person in our locality according to the report as of this moment, and that our local government unit is doing its great effort to prevent the spread of this pandemic) – and is even discouraged or more distressed despite of this worrisome state, here I am thinking of “I wish to welcome the COVID-19 to inflect me!” Crazy thoughts right? Yes, sometimes I have indifferent thoughts – when I am in a state of confusion and deep reflection. Maybe you’ll taunt me, actually, I don’t care what you think of me. I have to speak up my mind. Yes! While the world is trying to defeat this evil pandemic, the globe is trying to preserve the value of humans, here I am selfish thinking only of myself? For unknown reasons…I have reasons but I don’t know if it’s valid for you, but with my state of mind at this moment. This is literally valid! Basis? To help you vindicate about this, I may not be declaring it loud all the shreds of evidence, it should be enough for you to understand WHY. Allow me to paint it in a one-sentence question. “ WHAT IS THE MEANING OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?” 

    Does it only mean physical infliction? You knew it’s not, right? You ask me how this affects me. What do you call if you’re being labeled as “WORTHLESS” and you know why it extremely breaks my heart because of the person who should be the one to uplift me, support me, understands me, proud of my achievements, listens to my qualms, prays with me, laughs with me, cry with me, celebrates the gift of life I have and had been given – is the person who’s beside me for more than two decades. Unbelievable it is. Instead of supporting me to chase my holy grail, we’ll he’s my all-time and constant dissuade. If I am about to speak up my reasons, it’s forbidden! I don’t have the right to vocalize my mind. I have to keep my mouth mute while he is lambasting me with those offensive words.  So, isn’t it violence? 

Now, I might appear disgusting for telling you this. I am not collecting sympathy from anybody out there. Writing is my only outlet, this is my only whimsical friend throughout my existence. I have physical friends, but I keep my words to myself. It’s better to write than to tell somebody what life do I have. I am living in a lax culture but a different mentality of people. They are exhilarated to know if somebody is not in a good predicament of life, “Crab Mentality” as it is called. Whatever your flaws, it’s an achievement for them, you’ll be the content of their gossips the next day. I am in this locality wherein we have a  prominent saying “may tainga ang lupa, may pakpak ang balita” (soil has ears, gossips have wings) which means, fake news is indelible. Good deeds you’ve done about, they’re silent. But if they glimpse at your fault, you’ll be tattered into pieces by their idle talks.  

So, again reflecting on this..why I am telling you this? You might say, do you think they don’t have the chance to read this? I made sure that nobody in my locality can read this. That’s the reason why I have shared it here. Because I know this portal has the most appreciative people, don’t have a judgmental mentality either. That you are the most accommodating professionals who acknowledge the creativity and uniqueness of an individual.  

Well, after writing this craziness, did the effect of COVID-19 lessens? That I don’t know. However, the baggage I felt before I scribe this…it was subsided I’m sure. Feeling better and lighter. Sorting out things in the most subtle way. Amidst of drawbacks in life, I always fight and stand. Let me end with this bible verse from James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  

Let’s hope and pray that this pandemic “war” could end so soon. After all, unity, peace and love between us humans, regardless of race and culture, economic society and intellectual capacity, must be the bottom line of everything. We need to treasure every human being free from any type of distraction. WE NEED TO CO-EXIST PEACEFULLY. The power of all forms should benefit from the goodness of humanity. There is no powerful nation above God’s wrath and power. He has all the control of everything no matter how exceptional we are, no matter how much our intelligence quotient we have. We were made by our Creator as diverse to appreciate how unique the world we live in.  We have the most towering intellect of all living creatures in one purpose, “LOVE THY NEIGHBOR” and not devastation. 

Disclaimer:

This article does not in any means referred to anybody’s personal experience. Any events, experiences, and similarities mentioned herein are not intended to reveal any single person’s identity.  

Elma D. Baque 🇵🇭